So i feel since i have been reading this womens blog (those of you who haven't i highly suggest it!) I have spent so much time pondering things and trying to have a more eternal perspective on even the small and simple things. Paying closer attention to the "details." I wanted to share a bit of what i read from Stephanie's blog yesterday:
Perspective
This is my world right now--zoomed in close, agonizing over the details. The details--be they beautiful or boring, painful or pleasant--the details are our everything. We wake in the morning with them staring us in the face and we lay our heads on our pillows at night either basking in their fullness or formulating how to survive or change them. I have heard Oprah say "love is in the details." And so it is. Perhaps that is why the details, the moments of life that you never forget and that form your very being, consume our constant focus. They are crucial.
There is beauty in the details--even the painful ones. It is a beauty born of love. Like mental photographs the details tell a story. These stories form the epic that is our lives. Even these epic stories of our lives are just the details, the footnotes even, in the history books of mankind. One can only imagine how our histories fit into the great scheme of the Creator's works.
Details produce the defining points of our lives. This is one of the great defining points in my life. I write the story that will define me by how I endure the trials I face. These are not easy days. This story is difficult to forge. But I believe that if I am careful and I can keep a firm mind and a heart full of love, even if it is an aching love, a thing a great beauty will emerge from these details.
Whatever our trials are in life, the gospel gives us the gift of perspective to guide us in our sorrow and affliction. In the grand scheme of my life, this will be but a chapter. It is hard for me to imagine a day I don't think about Camille with every breath, but I know in my head that will come. Part of me is terrified for that day to come. The better part of me refuses to live forever in this chapter. This chapter will form the rest of my story, but I hope that by the 500th page of my 1000 page life I am not still mourning the event of this too early, too sorrowful chapter of my life.
I can only hope the pain of this detail will make all the colors brighter, all the laughter heartier, all the love deeper, all the moments sweeter. I can only hope that this defining detail will significantly impact the whole of the eternal perspective of my life for the positive. That by enduring well the Lord can make of my life a work of art.
I find myself wrapped around her words lately...as though they were a gift. I want to be sure i pay close attention to those details in life, and as she said allow the gospel to give me the perspective i need to guide me through life in all its ups and downs. Over the past few days i have felt a change in the way i see my beautiful baby girls....I am trying to see them in the way our Savior and Father in Heaven sees them, and as though they would be gone tomorrow. I hold them longer, I REALLY try and listen to them and understand them, I just want to breath in every moment i have with them and NEVER let that breath escape me. I truly feel i have been spiritually uplifted and strengthened by this woman's testimony and trail. There are people all over the world reading her story of Camille and so many being touched by the words this mother writes...let me quote Stephanie once more from a blog where she refers to her and Camille as sister missionaries:
"I feel humbled at the thought of being a companion in Camille's work now. I may write these words, but it is her life that has inspired them. It is her spirit that touches so many people reading them. Just as I was allowed to see my own children through her eyes to forever change me as a mother, she is working to whisper eternal truths into the hearts and minds of so many on this earth. I rejoice in this work of hers, for ultimately it is His work."
Truly Camille's life and death have touched countless people....and what a wonderful mother she has to voice and testify of all that she knows ...
One day i hope to thank her.
I find myself wrapped around her words lately...as though they were a gift. I want to be sure i pay close attention to those details in life, and as she said allow the gospel to give me the perspective i need to guide me through life in all its ups and downs. Over the past few days i have felt a change in the way i see my beautiful baby girls....I am trying to see them in the way our Savior and Father in Heaven sees them, and as though they would be gone tomorrow. I hold them longer, I REALLY try and listen to them and understand them, I just want to breath in every moment i have with them and NEVER let that breath escape me. I truly feel i have been spiritually uplifted and strengthened by this woman's testimony and trail. There are people all over the world reading her story of Camille and so many being touched by the words this mother writes...let me quote Stephanie once more from a blog where she refers to her and Camille as sister missionaries:
"I feel humbled at the thought of being a companion in Camille's work now. I may write these words, but it is her life that has inspired them. It is her spirit that touches so many people reading them. Just as I was allowed to see my own children through her eyes to forever change me as a mother, she is working to whisper eternal truths into the hearts and minds of so many on this earth. I rejoice in this work of hers, for ultimately it is His work."
Truly Camille's life and death have touched countless people....and what a wonderful mother she has to voice and testify of all that she knows ...
One day i hope to thank her.
2 comments:
I love that her words are touching you so much the same way that they touched me. I know we don't know each other well, but sharing these kinds of feelings truly makes me realize that we are all sisters and that Father in Heaven created sisters with sincere purpose - to uplift and strengthen each other. Knowing that those around me are striving to live closer to the gospel plan makes it easier for me to remember what is truly important to me in my life. (Would it be cheesy for me to tell you that these posts make me love you?) Oh well. :) I do. The way our Father in Heaven intended for us to love our sisters. Thank you so much for sharing your testimony with me!!
This story is truly amazing. Camille's passing has sparked an amazing testimony to come to life in a blog that is being read by countless people, some I'm sure that have never heard of the Gospel. Just tonight I was sitting at my computer and Mike was sniffing. Not really all that unusual as he does have allergies, then I turned around to see what he was reading on his computer. Yep, you guessed it...it was Stephanie's blog. He was having a tough time with it. It seems to be touching us all!
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