Well...I have actually been holding off on this post hoping I would be posting of a NEW pregnancy....But for reasons unknown...that is not the case...instead I have daily become more and more consumed in my ache to have another baby. When Jesse and I started our family with Azzlyn and Caeyln we thought great...this is just as we wanted our family to start...Since we always said once we got started we wouldnt really take to much of a pause until we had them all here...Giving us a nice big - CLOSE- family. So back in November I found out I was pregnant! Though we had always said we wanted to move quickly with our family this pregnancy was a surprise...and in fact we hadnt really thought about trying until this happened, since Axil wasnt even one yet....BUT unfortunately and much to my dismay...I miscarried. So...Naturally....Heartbroken and quite disappointed we decided It was time for us to try...So again we tried and again we miscarried...this was in January.... I was just sick about it...I kept thinking...am I broken? And with a husband who travels for three weeks at a time...my chances for trying are slim....and when he was home our attempts were unsuccessful ....
So I have kind of felt a bit distraught and confused....It has always been so easy to get pregnant...simply a thought and i was. With my first pregnancy, (also a miscarriage) and with Azzlyn and Caelyn as well as Axil...no problem. So I kind of feel a little out of my element. And am beginning to feel maybe a little of what many feel who struggle with infertility....though its not been years of trying and though I have been able to get pregnant I just don’t seem to be keeping them…and since the last misscarage, when I get the chance to try im not getting pregnant at all.....Im sure that any and MOST every woman can agree that when she knows she is ready to have a baby... She doesn’t want to wait...
I will say that I have a new sympathy for people who DO try for years with no success... I’ve only had a taste of what its like to wait and loose and then wait and loose some more. I feel sooo consumed and almost mental about the whole thing... But in these past 6 months I have surely gained a greater appreciation for my past pregnancies and the three healthy beautiful children I have been so greatly blessed with. Please forgive me if I am so winey....I dont mean to offend those of you who have waited much longer periods of time for a child...Im just not used to waiting.....so maybe there is something to be learned in this for me. I know it will happen...having the two losses does make it hard....along with the waiting game...it all kind of messes with your mind and your emotions. So in the mean time. I will get my fix with all the babies around me being born...cuz as you can guess...everyone in my life right now IS PREGNANT ! and please dont misunderstand...I AM super Happy for them overjoyed and thrilled....I just want it for me too, that’s all.
So until that day I have something of myself to be working on.....PATIENCE...
any advice will gladly be taken!
9 comments:
Don't despair! Pregnancy really is a miraculous thing and sometimes it just doesn't work the way we want! My woman doctor is an infertility specialist and always feels the need to tell me all about the miracle that is pregnancy. She says it takes most people a year of trying to actually get pregnant. The odds are just slim... women only produce 1 out of 4 good eggs, and only 30% of men's sperm is fertilizable... is that even a word? Haha anyway- it will work out... I know it will :)
I didn't know you guys were trying again! That's awesome! I feel for ya!! This subject is a big one in our house right now. We have been trying for two years now with no success. And after two years of crying and praying I finally realize that it's not on my timetable. Heavenly Father knows what's best for me and my family. So now I don't stress about it. I don't figure out my ovulation days. I don't pray for a baby anymore. I thank Him for the healthy, beautiful children I do have. I pray to be a better mom to them, and to be open to whatever He has in store for us, even if it means only 3 kids. We love you guys so much. I hope everything works out for you.
i'm so sorry!!! I have 2 sisters that struggle alot with this. One that can't get pregnant...and the other one has a hard time getting pregnant, and once she finally does...she miscarries! It is such an emotional roller-coaster. Hang in there, it will happen when heavenly father has another sweet little spirit to send to your cute family!! be patient and just trust in the lord!!! easier said than done i know!! love you...
Oh, I am so sorry for your losses and pain and frustration. I found that praying for peace and patience really helped me, and I know I was blessed with both. You are a wonderful Mother, and all of this will just make another baby more precious when he or she comes, and make you even more grateful for the ones you have with you already. Just give those three cute kids all your extra love and kisses in the meantime:) Call me or email me if you want to talk.
Sallie don't fret. I know it will happen for you - I'm sure of it. Just try to remember that everything happens in the Lord's time...not ours (and please don't slap me for saying that). Maybe that little one is not quite ready to make the trek to this big world just yet. :)
Man... that's gotta be rough! So emotional! You are such an incredible person - - you have a beautiful family with 3 beautiful kids. There's always a purpose and timing is everything! Hang in there... Miss seeing you!
Not to butt in to much but why don't they put you on metformin? to help prevent the miscarrying? We struggled to get pregnant for two years, it doesn't matter how long month to whatever it is still hard! hang in there!
I forgot to tell you who I was, I didn't want to creep you out, Cambri and I grew up together and there family has meant alot to me over the years!
I didn't personally but I never have had a miscarriage usually they will pu t you on it if you have had a miscarriage. There is this study you can do in Utah that my older sister did its free and they help you to get pregnant. If you want more information on it I can talk to my sister for you. We are going to start infertility again after Alivia is one. I just feel like sometimes Heavenly Father wants us to do all that we can do and he will help with the rest!
Post a Comment